Thursday 3rd March 2022

Started the day with a trip to Tesco (Large supermarket chain) to buy some sweets for a friend who is type 1 diabetic and is doing a collection of supplies to send to Ukraine.

Then went to intervals and left the sweets there for her to collect when she is next in. Intervals was a mixture of running and biking, my knee is playing up a bit at the the moment this is from an old injury and as I did some running yesterday in the workout I didn’t want to overdo it today so opted to do ski instead of running – still hard but gentler on my knee.

I’ve been in a strange mood today, hard to explain it but an unsettled feeling, probably anxiety about what is going on in the world as well as feeling helpless and sad for the lives lost and family torn apart by this war/invasion. I like to watch the news at 1pm when I can so I can stay informed about what’s happening in the world but as the days pass, it is quite hard to watch it and comprehend what is happening and know what to do to help.

I am also feeling overwhelmed with my to-do list aswell, I just can’t seem to focus/concentrate for any length of time so tasks are taking longer than normal so the to-do list isn’t changing!! I’m counting down the days/weeks until Easter when I get some proper time off to relax and re-charge.

Wednesday 2nd March 2022

Started the day with a workout at the gym, the morning crew tend to be the same people so it was nice to see some friendly faces this morning. The workout was a long one of 40 minutes where you just need to keep chipping away at it and included some running which I did despite being the slowest one running.

I got home and booked my place for The Hour, the fitness challenge I mentioned a few weeks ago! Did it before I lost my nerve and today I’ve bought myself some swim/run shoes and a swimming wetsuit to wear for the event as I felt I’d feel quite self-conscious just running in my swimsuit. I’ve already a notification that they have been dispatched so will have plenty of time to get used to them before the event.

This is my 215 post which means that I’ve only got 150 days before I turn 45 and make this transformation happen! I’m sure I’ve said this loads of time but now is the time to focus and as my old boss would say JFDI (Just Fucking Do It), need to stop with the excuses and crack on, the count down is definitely on! Hence me booking onto that event.

My day has been quite busy with client work, it was 12pm before I really took a breathe but worked through until about 6pm, had some food, watched a bit of telly and then came upstairs to bed. I go again tomorrow!

Tuesday 1st March 2022

Wow, can’t believe it’s March already, this year is whizzing by at a rate of knots!!

I was the uni today, a non-teaching day so was doing my prep ready for Friday and sorting out some guest speakers for future lectures. One of these guest speakers is the Vice Chancellor of the university, they fit perfectly with the module focus and thought why not ask them, and they said yes!! I know I will be a little nervous about them coming into my session as ultimately they are the head of the university but will be interesting to hear what they have to say.

Being quite ballsy is something I used to be when I was younger and as I’ve got older I’ve stopped being so brave, but today I really liked the feeling, I need to be more ballsy with my business too and put myself out there (professionally speaking of course) and ask the question as I said to my boss to today “if you don’t ask, you don’t get” so I’m going to start asking for more…

Not only does 1st March represent the start of Meteorological Spring and St David’s Day (Patron Saint of Wales) but this year it is also Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day). Usually, I celebrate St David’s Day as I am Welsh by making Welsh Cakes and pancake day by making pancakes but both have really passed me by as I’ve been so focused on work and home stuff.

Seeing all the celebrations for St David’s Day does make me miss Wales, I’ve not lived there for over 30 years but there is a thin thread that pulls on my heart strings when I think of Wales and maybe it is somewhere I might live in the future, although I’ve also feel like I’m being drawn to Scotland too but that’s another story for another day!

Time is definitely ticking away for this transformation, just 5 months to go and I need to put pedal to the metal and crack on with it!

Monday 28th February 2022

I had booked myself into the gym this morning but woke up and realised that it would be too much of a rush for me to go and then get ready at the uni like I usually do as this semester my lectures start at 9am, especially today when we were in a different location to usual which meant that I had to be ready to leave my desk earlier. So I got up, cancelled my session and did a home workout instead with the kit I’ve got at home, I really like doing home workouts as it’s so convenient and to top it all off as I was running around where I live, not only did a witness a beautiful sunrise but also a full double rainbow!! What an amazing way to start the day and week.

My lectures with my students were great today, when they are all on form and engaged with the material they are great sessions, their personalities shine through and they work well as a group.

Once I got home, I had a quick call on Skype with my mum (and dad in the room, joining in occasionally), I don’t really speak to them much, every 2/3 weeks and at times the conversation is hard as I really don’t know what to say to them, I live quite a quiet life and don’t have much news to share as well as feeling like I’m failing at life as don’t live up to their expectations of what my life should be! I’m used to it now as I’ve had it all my adult life but still hurts if I’m not in a good place mentally. I know this is going to sound horrible, but when I finish the call all I can think is thank god that’s over and that I don’t have to speak to them again for a few weeks!! I love them dearly but they aren’t part of my daily life and often don’t make me feel good about myself or my life so why would I put myself through that if I don’t have to.

Usual evening routine of food, tellybox, blog post and bed!

Sunday 27th February 2022

I woke up with a slight hangover today, I only had 2 of those mini bottles (2 glasses) of red wine last night and thought I’d drank enough water during the day for it not to affect me but I should have known that I would have some after-effects from it as recently even a glass of wine has given me a fuzzy head the following day! Probably didn’t help that Sophiecat woke me up around 5am to be fed and persisted until I gave in to her meows and got up to feed her and then came back to bed!

She came back quite quickly and demanded more attention so I finally got up about 7ish! Had a coffee and worked out the plan for the day.

The blue skies and sunshine were back today so I went to the lake for a swim and it was glorious, cold but glorious, especially with the sun shining down its warming heat onto your face. I managed 2 laps and was in the water for about 19 minutes, doesn’t sound very long I know but the water is still only 6.1°C so is long enough!

I came home and had some lunch then cracked on with some nutrition work and for a change, I didn’t get distracted as much as I usually do and managed to finish quite a bit of it. This evening I’ve actually had a chance to read the papers. I buy The Sunday Times every week but in the last 4 weeks, I don’t think I’ve actually managed to read the main paper and just flick through the magazines apart from today and it was lovely to just sit and read. Need to do that more often.

And now here I am again, writing this blog post in bed and it’s the end of another week and nearly another month of 2022 has gone by, Christmas feels a distant memory now as I look forward to spring!!

Saturday 26th February 2022

The day started with Intervals, I love intervals – purely cardio with some rest! Today’s was in 3s with rowing and biking, two things I’m quite good at despite my lack of fitness, I’ve got the build for rowing.

Afterwards, I went for coffee with a friend who also goes to the same gym as me, we are kindred spirits and get on well, just don’t often get together what with life etc so was so lovely to have a couple of hours catching up and putting the world to rights too!

As per my usual Saturday routine I then did my food shop and there I bumped into a business associate so had a catch up with them in the car park for a while and finally got home around 12pm.

My new book arrived yesterday so made a start on reading that as well just having some downtime, I’m not the best at doing that as I find it hard to settle my mind but eventually I did sit and watch the rugby for a bit without any distractions.

I also did a bit of the housework, not as much as I have planned but that’s ok as it will get done at some point I’m sure.

This might sound a bit random but I can feel a shift happening within me, can’t really explain it but something is changing (I’m not talking the menopause), like my energy is shifting, who knows how this will play out, however, I’m happy to go along with the ride for now.

Watched a film for Hidden Figures tonight, I’ve watched it before but had an urge to watch it again, it is a true story about the African-American Women at NASA in the 1960s and how they were pivotal in helping get humans into space. How they broke barriers and were a force for change as well as pursuing their passion for maths. It makes me want to be a bit more forceful with my passions and knowledge to be a force for good and help change the world for a better future.

Friday 25th February 2022

Was booked into the gym this morning but cancelled it as soon as I woke up, despite the early bedtime last night my energy this morning was low.

I think there were a couple of reasons for this, firstly I knew I had a full on day at the uni teaching and then straight after work I was going out to a friend’s leaving do and secondly, today is the start of the CrossFit open. This is basically a global competition in which anyone who does CrossFit can compete against each other. The workouts are released on Friday and you have until Monday to submit your scores and then you can see where you rank globally. This year there will be 3 workouts across 3 weeks. For the last 6 years I’ve entered the open but this year due to my lack of motivation and fitness I couldn’t face doing it as I find it upsetting! My fitness is nowhere near where it used to be which is both upsetting and frustrating, I know the reasons for this but it doesn’t help me when I’m doing a workout and my score is worse than it was a few years ago. Despite what I said the other day about the event I’m doing in July. I do both CrossFit and cold water swimming simply for the joy of it, I’m not interested in competing and the CrossFit Open makes it competitive!

A new book arrived today called Decoding your Fatigue, it was recommended by another nutritionist who I respect so will take a read of it over the weekend as really want to get the answers as to why I’m so tired all the time seeing as my bloods came back as “normal”!!

Looking forward to a quiet weekend to give me time to re-group and go again next week!!

Friday 24th February 2022

Today I feel like I’ve been on go slow for most of the day! Started off well with intervals and there was running in it and I did it, it was a mixture of running, rowing and burpees, the first run I did my knee wasn’t happy but as the time went on it felt ok on the other runs so think I just need to keep doing it.

A few weeks ago a friend tagged me into an event that’s happening in early July which is called the hour and it’s a swim/run race – basically, you have to do as many rounds as possible of a 200m swim and a 1km run in an hour! This is my kind of thing, I love long slog it out workout where you just have to keep grinding and moving to get through it. I was unsure about it but have now decided that I’m going to enter it as it will give me a little focus and something to train for.

Anyway, I digress! After intervals, I popped into a couple of shops to get a few bits for my uni lectures tomorrow and then came home, did a bit of sorting in the kitchen and then sat at my desk and faffed about really, finally went for a shower and starting doing work around 11am. Had a couple of online meetings before lunch.

Sat down for lunch and couldn’t really find the energy to get working again, just felt on a go-slow, eventually, I finished the work I started this morning and then called it a day.

Cooked myself some tea and watched the tellybox but I simply couldn’t keep my eyes open so I’ve come to bed! Perhaps my late night on Tuesday is catching up with me. Can’t believe it’s only 20:08 and I’m already in bed, that’s early even for me! I will read my book for a bit and then sleep!!

Wednesday 23rd February 2022

Don’t think Sophiecat got the memo about my late bedtime last night as she woke me up early today, I fed her and came back to bed!!

Today was a business day and I had plenty to be getting on with so did that this morning, then this afternoon I headed into the uni campus as met up with a colleague for lunch and to visit the Cathedral which currently has an installation called Museum of the Moon this is a 7m diameter moon using NASA’s imagery of the lunar surface. It is absolutely breathtaking. It has visited Lincoln before a few years ago but I didn’t get around to seeing it then so made sure this time I did go and what a location. Every time I walk past the Cathedral I’m always awestruck with its beauty and magnificence and say a blessing to myself about how lucky I am to be able to visit this building whenever I want to.

On days like today when I get to do things whenever I want like take the afternoon off just because makes me realise that although running a business is tough it has its benefits too! I know that over the last 10 years notwithstanding the pandemic I have worked my arse off and not taken much time to enjoy my life as I’ve been so caught up in the hustle of making ends meet and even now when things are getting slightly easier I’ve still got the hustle mentality which means I often don’t come up for air and see the world around me.

Note to self: take more time away from the business & work and enjoy yourself!!

Tuesday 22nd February 2022

Another day, another dollar as they say!! Been a jam-packed day and a late bedtime for me.

No gym today as it’s a rest day, not that I needed a rest day as haven’t been since Saturday morning but that’s my routine so don’t like changing it!

I was at the uni today, it’s a non-teaching day so spent the day catching up on emails/admin and prepping for my session on Friday – think it will be a great session if all my students turn up!

After I finished at the uni, I drove home had a quick tea and went back out again to meet a friend who had invited me to an evening of conversation – basically, it was more an evening of listening to other people have conversations (they knew we were listening BTW), quite interesting nonetheless.

Afterwards, we went to a bar for a drink & catch up which was lovely (we both had hot chocolates!), it felt quite weird being out in the evening it is something that I don’t do hardly ever really.

And the main reason for not being out late in the evenings is that I am now still awake at 10:52 which is way past my bedtime and consequently that will have a knock-on effect tomorrow. I’ve already cancelled my gym session as know I will struggle to get up for the time I need to if I was going to go.

My mood today has generally been better or has lifted I should say to what it was yesterday and Sunday so feel like that’s a good thing although I’m not really had a chance to think about it if I’m honest as being quite a productive day the fact that I’ve not thought about it would suggest that it’s lifted slightly.

So better start to go to sleep otherwise it might be another long night I’ve got the Sohpiecat sat on me right now think she’s missed me today seen as I’ve been out all day and all evening with literally home for about an hour in between as she’s getting older now she tends to be a bit needier which is lovely in some sense of the word but also me having to face the inevitable at some point of her going to cat heaven.