May 2020 – Stop and stare

Another month has gone by and it’s been quite a transformative month for me and my mindset.

Some of the motivation I get from doing things for others is that I don’t want any of my friends and loved ones to feel like I do sometimes. So just after lockdown started I decided that I was going to post things to people as and when they came to mind over the days/weeks/months of lockdown, I’ve done this for what I think is a selfish reason as I get lots of joy from making others smile & feel loved/cared for.

Eighteen years ago this month I left my job at Unilever and jumped into the fitness sector. Some friends and family thought  I was mad giving up a good stable job for what they saw as a more volatile industry. There have been many times in my life where I’ve made quite large changes in my life and these have come about as something in my gut is telling me that the path I’m on doesn’t feel right and that I need to change, this was one of those times, I remember after a pretty disappointing performance review with my line manager being in the toilets crying not really knowing what I was doing so wrong when a friend suggested that I leave and follow my passion into the fitness industry and that was it, the decision made. Prior to this review, I’d been busy spending my weekends studying to be a personal trainer (I was doing this purely for myself to gain more knowledge when I started the course I had no intentions of using it as a career) and by the time the review happened, I’d done enough of my training to be able to get a job as a fitness instructor which is what I did. I’ve changed path/career/location a couple more times over the years which all have come from my gut telling me things aren’t right you are on the wrong path, you should change and I’ve done it with very little thought or reflection! This has taken me on the colourful path we call life! However, at the moment I feel like I’m stumbling a little on my path and finding it hard to hear/feel what my gut is saying!!

So I’ve made time this month to reflect on my life and my situation as I’m sure you and a lot of other people have too and what I’ve come to realise that I’m very good at reading self-help/personal development books, however, I never do any of the practices or actions that they suggest and then I wonder why things never change.  This has started to change…

With this reflection also has brought some past experiences that have been emotionally painful and there have been many tears, this might seem like a weird thing to say but this releasing of emotion has helped me to feel lighter (metaphorically) and remove the power and hold they’ve had on me over the years which have caused me to have mental blocks around certain areas of my life. In doing so I’ve used this ancient Hawaiian prayer to forgive and release the past to create a new future. (more info here). 

I have found this process very healing as I’ve been able to forgive myself and many other people and now few at peace with some of the challenges I’ve faced over the years.

This is a very similar story for my business, so having had a number of conversations with lots of different people I know that I need to change the narrative I use for my business, you might not notice this publicly as it’s the language I use in my head and the way I describe/frame it to myself which ultimately gets projected out into the world. We are a reflection of our inner selves!

I’ve had some lightbulb moments & some real clarity of thought about my path and life I’m living which over the coming months I will share with you.

Until then, stay safe and well.

Big Love R xx






Published by lincolnshiregirl

I'm 40 something gal living in the beautiful county of Lincolnshire, England. I run my own business which is a rollercoaster of good times and bad times but it is what makes life interesting. I'm a self-confessed foodie, which some people might think is bordering an obsession, but a good obsession I would say. I am a fully qualified food technologist, nutritionist and personal trainer and use my skills and knowledge to keep striving to better myself in all areas of my life. Despite being dyslexic I love reading both fiction and non-fiction books and usually have four or five on the go at any one time. I enjoy keeping myself fit and healthy by regular visits to the gym as well as enjoying open water swimming and sometimes I'm brave enough to swim without a wetsuit. This blog is all about my life and adventures.

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