Monday 21st February 2022

Last night I already decided that I wasn’t going to the gym this morning, I didn’t feel like rushing around my house before 6am to get everything prepped and ready so cancelled my place before I went to bed, I still woke up at the same time, fed Sophiecat and went back to bed for another hour or so.

My mood has still been quite low today, a bit better than yesterday but still not where I usually am, I’m hoping it will pass in a couple of days but who knows.

It was a uni day today and had a great session with my students which helped lift my spirits, they are currently out on placement working with some local businesses for three days a week and it’s lovely to watch them mature and flourish in the business environment. And I’m getting great feedback from the businesses too which is fantastic, feels good to have a positive influence on these young people’s lives.

When I got home, I had a bit of my own business work to do and then it was a chilled evening, got quite a lot on this week both during the day and in the evenings – this is very unusual for me as I like my evening routine and my early bedtime and going out in the evening isn’t very conducive so I rather do things during the day.

Despite the busy week, I’m determined to make some progress towards my transformation and goals (this doesn’t include the exercise bit of it) so that I can attempt to get back on track with some areas as I know I’ve let them slip.

Sunday 20th February 2022

Today has been a bit of a low day, I woke up not feeling great mentally! No reason for that I don’t think but I guess we just have some down days.

Sophiecat woke me up about 6am for food so I fed her and went back to bed but couldn’t really sleep so got back up.

I feel quite a lot of weight on my shoulders at the moment as I attempt to balance all areas of my life which is proving heavy and tiring and this is not even about pushing forward with my 365 transformation, I’m well aware that the days and weeks are ticking down now and I’m making little or no progress…

I was booked in to go swimming at the lake this morning, however, with a weather warning for wind this morning I wasn’t brave enough to go, my head goblins were not up to doing a swim in a storm! When I eventually venutred out to get my paper I was slightly pissed off for not going as it wasn’t as bad it had looked from indoors.

I’ve spent most of the day working and doing housework, it feels like a never-ending task especially today with the way my head is at but it needs doing as there is no one else here to do it so I have to suck it up and crack on with it and if I don’t do it today I will regret it during the week when I need food quickly and there isn’t anything easy to hand.

Making myself a roast chicken dinner tonight to help lift my mood and then will read the papers, watch a bit of tellybox and then go to bed ready to go again tomorrow with my fingers crossed that my mood lifts.

Saturday 19th February 2022

The day started with intervals which was fab, because of the strong winds still there was no running instead we used the bike and ski erg along with burpees!! It was tough going but fun.

Then the normal ritual of the food shop, I was on the clock a bit this week as a friend was coming over to help me with the garden and as an energy/knowledge exchange, I said that I’d cook them some food and as I wanted it to be the freshest it could be I wanted to do most of it before they arrived. Thankfully as I’d done quite a big shop last week I was only really topping up and getting some specific ingredients.

By the time my friend had got to me most of the cooking was done and so we had a cup of tea and then headed out into the garden in the rain but unperturbed we cracked on with a few tasks well until it started to really sleet and we decided to call it a day so only did an hour or so but made progress. They also drew me a bit of a plan for the garden and we booked in some more days in the future to carry the work on.

As we were a little wet and cold I lit my open fire to warm us up! The open fire was one of the first things I did in the house when I bought it as it was something we had growing up and found it so comforting, once I had the chimney swept to see if was suitable to have an open fire I set about installing one. I don’t light it all the time, in the winter it’s mainly at the weekends and as we get into spring I’ll give it a good clear our and clean ready for next winter. I often get so mesmerised by the flames that I end up staring at it for hours.

An early night tonight still got my cold lingering and just feel like getting snuggly in bed with a book (well kindle).

Friday 18th February 2022

Skipped the gym this morning, the head goblins won out as just felt exhausted as well as feeling a little bit nervous about driving due to an impending storm (this time it was Eunice that was descending on our UK shores).

It’s funny as when I was in my early 20s, I never thought twice about driving anywhere, with no hesitation or fear of what might happen/go wrong. Whereas now, I often think twice about doing somewhere or doing something for fear of things going wrong or me being in danger, not sure if this is an age thing or more of an awareness of the world around me.

Today was a uni day and had a good session with the 3rd years, the campus was pretty quiet as we had been told to work from home if we could today to limit travel due to the storm, I left earlier than normal as was due to being owed some hours back in lieu as well as wanting to get home so that I was safe and secure in my house.

Over the last two years or so I’ve become a real home bird, I liked being at home before the pandemic/lockdown hit in Feb 2020 but now I love it, I feel so relaxed at home and as I do DIY this year to refresh it I can’t see why I would want to be anywhere else. And it has also made me realise that I can earn money easily from home without doing the mad amount of driving I was doing before. I think the driving will increase this year again as I do still like getting out and about for meetings but some will be done online at times.

I’m finding it interesting to reflect on the last two years and think about the habits and actions that I want to keep doing and the things I want to change, whenever in history have we had the opportunity as a collective to stop and think?!?

Thursday 17th February 2022

Today has been a great day, started off at intervals where there was running programmed into the workout, over the last year or so I’ve not done very much running at all, I’ve got a dodgy knee that plays up sometimes and running is just painful to do so I’ve been hesitant to run and then as my fitness decreased then I did try running I just found it so hard!! So usually I would ask to do the alternative movement if running came up in the workout, not today I was determined to give it a go, it wasn’t fast and it wasn’t pretty but I did manage to do it so that made me a little teary on the drive home and I’m so proud of myself for doing it as well as acknowledging that I’ve got back into the groove with exercise despite having a lot of other things going on and not letting them get in the way.

After the gym, I got home quick shower and breakfast then a work meeting and some nutritional work.

I met up with a friend at a local nature park for a walk and talk session, we’ve not seen each other since 2019 mainly due to Covid, we’ve chatted online in that time but nothing beats being in the company of someone and having a good old chat, once we did a walk we did have coffee and cake in the cafe which was delicious. And we were lucky with the weather as it was nice and sunny, not too windy either.

Once home after the walk, it was more work and then food, TV and now blog and bed!

Today I’m really thankful for friends and my life, some areas could be better but overall I feel like it’s going in the right direction and I just need to keep my eye on the prize and stay focused!!

Wednesday 16th February 2022

The day started with a workout, even I’m surprising myself about my commitment to it now, in the dark days of January I didn’t know if I’d get my mojo back for exercise and that scared the living daylights out of me if I’m honest, as me not exercising isn’t who I am I. A world without exercise for me is a very dark place, it brings me so much joy & happiness it’s hard to put into words – the endorphins do work wonders for your outlook.

I’m not saying that sometimes there are workouts that send you to a place of hurt – commonly known as the pain cave and in those moments you want to stop but the joy of pushing beyond possible is to me one of the biggest highs you can have without take illegal drugs!!

It was a uni day today, no teaching but prepping for my session on Friday and catching up on admin and paperwork, I got loads done which felt great at the end of the day when you turn your laptop off.

Back home, it was a chilled evening and then bed! Currently in the UK a storm named Dudley is hitting our shores so the wind is blowing a gahoully outside right now so think it will be a long noisy night, Sophiecat hates the wind so if the wind doesn’t keep me awake she will as constantly wants reassurance so plays with my hands and meows!!

Tuesday 15th February 2022

Wow, just realised this is my 200th post on this blog… pretty proud of myself for posting every day since July, basically my ramblings of trying to figure my life out… THANK You for coming along with me on this journey!!

Today was my rest day from the gym, my body needed it but felt strange not going this morning!!

I switched my days around this week as I had a board meeting I needed to attend today for my business, kept having to remind myself that it is Tuesday not Wednesday!

Had a bit of a wobble today after a client questioned a quote I had sent them for some work, quoting for work has always been a challenge for me as it’s a reflection of your worth really especially for me as a service business where people are buying my knowledge rather than a product.

I know that in many areas of my life I undervalue myself and my worth & this is something I want to work on but I find it so hard to see my true value, and I’m not really sure how I can change this if I’m honest!

Tonight I attended an Instagram masterclass to try to learn more about how I can up my game on this platform, I love Instagram and find it a really nice place to hang out, I want to make it a place where I can grow my business too so this was a great workshop with a brand I really admire & support. Lots to think about going forward and tip & tricks to implement.

Now it’s time for bed, I’ve done some prep for the morning as it’s gym and straight to the uni day but am so sleepy now so will just have to run around in the morning doing the rest.

Monday 14th February 2022

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Today has been all about putting a brave face on and smiling through sadness! This will be my 11th valentines day as a singleton and it sucks if I’m honest. I have had a few flings over the years but nothing long-lasting.

I know that having a partner isn’t the be all and end all in life and even in a relationship you can be lonely but ultimately I would like to be with someone, someone to share my life with. However, right now I don’t feel in the right mindset to be putting myself out there and looking for love so need to have patience and know that at some point I’ll have enough self-confidence & belief to brave the dating scene again.

I’ve stayed off social media today and busied myself with work so that I don’t get too upset about my situation, tomorrow is another day.

Managed the gym again this morning, still finding it hard going as I’ve lost so much of my fitness, have to remember that I will get it back and again be patient with the process and that it will be consistency with going will get the results I want.

Sunday 13th February 2022

Had a Sophiecat wake up today which wasn’t as early as usual but still earlier than my alarm, I tried to negotiate with her half a sleep to be quiet but she was haven’t none of it! So eventually I gave up and got up.

The last few Sundays have been pretty hectic which means that I go to bed later than I would like but it can’t be helped really as all the things I do are things I want to do or need to do ready for week ahead!

Today I went for a swim at the lake again, the water temperature was warmer than last week but didn’t feel it with a cold wind and rain, I know that some people think I’m mad doing it but it’s so exhilarating and makes you feel so alive and caught up with a friend there while we warmed up with a hot drink.

Once home it was straight into work, prep for my lecture tomorrow and meal prep for the week and before I knew it was gone 7pm!

And that’s it another weekend gone in the blink of an eye and another week where I’ve not really done any work towards this transformation, well apart from the exercise routine which has felt so good to be back in the groove…

January 2022 – Being Authentically Me

Here we go again, another year to achieve our dreams!

Like lots of other people, I find January a little overwhelming, all the talk about what will you achieve this year, plans and activities just tires me out thinking about it! Don’t get me wrong, if this kind of planning works for you then great but I often feel like we set ourselves up for a fall and I know that I’ve done that many times.

For a good number of years now I’ve not made new years resolutions, however instead what I have is a word of the year, I’ve probably talked about this before and it’s basically about having a theme for the year – in the past, I’ve had balance, abundance, openness, love… and quite a few more that I can’t remember!! Usually, the word comes to me at some time in late November, early December & it just sticks in my head, that’s when I know I’ve chosen the right word.

This year my word is AUTHENTICITY.

For the past few months, something inside has felt a bit off, not really sure how to explain it really but I felt like I wasn’t being true to myself. And in all honesty when I thought about “being true to myself” I wasn’t really sure what that actually meant or looked like.

During December and over the Christmas period I had a number of conversations with friends about life, hopes and dreams as you do over a few glasses of wine & knowing you can speak from your heart and openly without fear or judgement. During these conversations something hit home & many friends said the same thing to me.

“When you talk about food/nutrition, you come alive, your eyes light up, your energy & enthusiasm is through the roof”

And they are right, food, food technology, food hygiene & safety, cooking, eating, nutrition, food marketing, food manufacturing, food packaging you name it and it is what makes my heart sing, it’s been part of my life since I was 6 months old (yes I know it’s been part of all our lives as we need it to stay alive!!!), at 6 months old my parents started their own food business and traded in different guises until I was 18. However, even as a child I know that at times it was tough going for my parents, they changed and adapted their business to survive and maybe some of this struggle as rubbed off on me in a way.

I don’t consciously shy away from food work, however, sometimes wonder if I can make a living out of it as it was such a struggle for my parents. So look to other skills I have to make a living. But… food work always comes back to me as it’s something that comes so naturally to me and makes me happy so this year I’m going to embrace it!!

The aim of 2022 is to be more authentically me – what this looks like is beyond me right now but all I know is that I will do more foodie things be that posting on social media, develop new recipes, trying new foods, eating at new restaurants and just see where it takes me.

I won’t lie and say that I’m a little scared as society tries so hard to tell us not to be ourselves so feel like I’m going against the tide but those who know me well know that most of the time I tend to furrow my own path in life so watch this space…

Until next time, say well xxx