August 2020 – Leap of Faith

August has been a month of two halves really, as some of you will have seen the first 14 days were all about me completing #75Hard then the rest of the month was all about resting and reflecting on this achievement.

I had some amazing comments and feedback to my challenge, so thank you if you took the time to send me a message, like my picture & read the post they mean the world to me.

I am keen to take the learnings from this challenge to move some areas of my life forward.

I guess I do these things to prove to myself that I’m good enough, that I’m succeeding in this thing we call life and I hope that in some way me being honest about my life helps others to get through challenges and tricky situations.

In some ways, I wish I didn’t have to keep trying to prove to myself that I’m a valid person, however, personal development is a life long journey and there are plenty of deeply held beliefs that I’m still finding ways to deal with. We are all a bit like an onion, that over our lifetime we gain layers and layers of beliefs and thoughts, some are positive/helpful but some are negative/destructive and when you recognise this and work on peeling back the layers to re-assess/reframe these negative thoughts/behaviours then another layer is exposed.

The first few days after the challenge finished I did feel quite lost, I missed the routine and structure of it all, it gave me a purpose to get up and get on with tasks, something I’ve lost my way with recently. I have so many ideas/dreams/goals that I want to achieve yet I get overwhelmed with the enormity of these plans!! I’m a big world thinker and as I sit here and type this I have a massive piece of flipchart on the wall above my desk which is my vision for the business (Yes I know what I said last year about pausing it and getting a job) but there is still fire in my belly for it which I just can’t ignore!!

Over the last few months as a global collective, we’ve been grappling with this pandemic, how to deal with it and what life will be like in the future. Although this has added an extra level of complexity to the above vision and my life in general, I feel very privileged that my knowledge of health, nutrition and wellbeing might help others to retain or improve their health. In a sense, it has reaffirmed why I followed the path I have, in fact, it’s made that fire in my belly burn brighter than ever, I just now need to figure out how I can make this turn into a sustainable income, which still seems to elude me.

Mainly I think I just need to be braver! I regularly read articles in magazines or see posts on Social Media and think I could have written that and yet I don’t do either enough!! I feel like such a contradiction as part of me are brave beyond measure and do things without even thinking about it, like the challenge I did in previous months or be willing to explore painful past experiences to grow as a person and then other times I allow my fears to take over and I’m paralysed by it!! And I get so frustrated with myself for this part of me as there is no rhyme or reason for this fear!! I know my stuff, I work hard to maintain my knowledge and many people have benefitted from this knowledge over the years and have paid me for it so I really don’t understand what this fear is all about – maybe it’s the fear of being judged/rejected which are areas I’m still working on from a personal point of view.

As we move in the last few months of 2020 I feel that I now need to take a massive leap of faith and know that I have the strength within me to succeed in whatever I choose to do, don’t get me wrong this won’t be easy and I may stumble along the way but I’ve stumbled before so know what I need to do to pick myself up and get on with it.

 

 

Published by lincolnshiregirl

I'm 40 something gal living in the beautiful county of Lincolnshire, England. I run my own business which is a rollercoaster of good times and bad times but it is what makes life interesting. I'm a self-confessed foodie, which some people might think is bordering an obsession, but a good obsession I would say. I am a fully qualified food technologist, nutritionist and personal trainer and use my skills and knowledge to keep striving to better myself in all areas of my life. Despite being dyslexic I love reading both fiction and non-fiction books and usually have four or five on the go at any one time. I enjoy keeping myself fit and healthy by regular visits to the gym as well as enjoying open water swimming and sometimes I'm brave enough to swim without a wetsuit. This blog is all about my life and adventures.

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