May was an emotional month for me, can’t quite put my finger on why this was the case as nothing significant happened I just felt in a bit of a negative funk really.
One thing that I did feel is alone at times! In all honesty, I never ever feel lonely! I’m lucky enough to have a great circle of friends around me who look out for me and there is always someone I can talk to if I need advice or guidance. However, there are times when I feel truly alone, it’s coming up to a decade of being properly single (not an anniversary I thought I’d hit) and my family are not close either emotionally or geographically, which means that all of my life decisions fall on me (this isn’t a woe is me post, it’s just the truth) and I find this incredibly hard and exhausting! There is no one to share the burden with, I question some of my decisions all the time not knowing if I’m doing the right thing. I’ve very much driven by my gut feeling (99% of the time it’s right) however, it would be nice sometimes to be able to discuss it with someone who is on the same journey as me
I’ve had these feelings before and know that the best thing is to acknowledge them but not get give into them and give them energy fester. I tend to just pick myself up and move on.
I don’t know about you but this year is going so fast, I can hardly believe that as I sit and type this it’s already mid-June and it’s tipping it down!! Typical English summer! This isn’t helped that I work on the magazine for one of the major supermarkets doing all the nutrition for the recipes and we work at least two months in advance so that feel like the months passes in a blink of an eye. At the moment I’m working on the September magazine.
As I mentioned last month I’ve continued to do my challenge 250 during the month and even though this negative funk is stubbornly hanging around I’m finding the routine of this challenge helps me to stay focus on actions I know will help me maintain my wellbeing and I’m determined not to miss a X in the box on my sheet, it’s funny what can motivate you isn’t it!
Quite a short one from me this month, so until next time, safe save and well.
Big love, Rachel xx