June 2022 – Don’t stop peddling

Halfway through the year already, in a blink of an eye… where is the year going! As always the month of June has been a whirlwind of activity.

At the uni, the semester has now finished so no lecturing for me until the beginning of September but that doesn’t mean it gets easier as we are now in full-on planning and prep mode for next year.

During the month I did manage to get back to the gym a little bit as my knee still isn’t right but is a lot better than it has been, I’m taking things slow & steady to ensure full recovery over time.

At this time of year, many people are talking about summer holidays & time off work, I’m often asked if I’m having a holiday… I kind of dodge the question really as I get emotional about it. For years I’ve not had the budget to go on holiday so it wasn’t even in my consciousness to think about it and the other reason I don’t generally go on holiday is that I don’t have anyone to go with. And yes I could go on my own and I have done that before but ultimately it would be nice to have company!! I want to be able to escape my head and thoughts & which only really happens when I’m with others and I’m not willing to spend money on something I can do at home.

For quite a long time I’ve had to work a lot of hours to ensure that I earn enough to keep a roof over myself, as it’s just me who is responsible for paying all the bills so got used to being in hustle mode. And now that maybe I don’t need to hustle so much I could stop but in all honesty, I am scared to stop peddling, I work a lot as it silences the ache I have in my heart for something I desperately want which seems beyond my fingertips right now. The fact is a really love what I do both at the university as well as my business so often I don’t like feel like I’m working long hours, but recently a few people comment about how much I work which made me start questioning the hours I do.

I know that this type of working isn’t sustainable but right now I’m not quite sure how to change my mindset to allow me to get past these blocks, also feel like I’m not being true to myself at the moment, however, I’m not sure that that looks and feels like anymore so I just keep going in the hope that at some point something will change & life will feel a little easier.

Or perhaps my mindset will change & the world around me will change, I am a believer in the universe and how thoughts become things, it’s just so easy to say this and in practice, it is much harder to do so I shouldn’t really be surprised that I’m in this position.

Until next time, stay safe! Big Love R xx

Published by lincolnshiregirl

I'm 40 something gal living in the beautiful county of Lincolnshire, England. I run my own business which is a rollercoaster of good times and bad times but it is what makes life interesting. I'm a self-confessed foodie, which some people might think is bordering an obsession, but a good obsession I would say. I am a fully qualified food technologist, nutritionist and personal trainer and use my skills and knowledge to keep striving to better myself in all areas of my life. Despite being dyslexic I love reading both fiction and non-fiction books and usually have four or five on the go at any one time. I enjoy keeping myself fit and healthy by regular visits to the gym as well as enjoying open water swimming and sometimes I'm brave enough to swim without a wetsuit. This blog is all about my life and adventures.

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