Sunday 23rd January 2022

A bit of a slow morning as felt the effects of yesterday’s shenanigans, as I don’t drink alcohol very often and not very much these days I do notice that it takes me longer to recover than it used to, that might be my age perhaps too!

Last night after getting home I did endeavour to drink lots of water to try to minimise the possible hangover I may feel today so think I could have felt a lot worse!!

Had a slow morning and then went over to a friend’s to help her remove a carpet as she is having work done on her house and needed an extra pair of hands to do some 2 person jobs around the house.

Before we got going on these jobs she did a bit of energy work on me, recently she has qualified in the emotion code which uses kinesiology to release trapped emotions as I was saying that my right knee might be a place I hold emotion, this probably sounds a bit strange, however, I do know that we sometimes hold our emotions in different body parts and then experience physical pain as a result of this held emotion.

While doing the energy release, a few other things came up that were quite interesting which I’m going to sit on metaphorically for a bit to let them settle within me to then look to see if anything has shifted as a result of the energy release.

This area of healing is an area I’m fascinated in and would like to look into it more, something for the future though as right now I need to sleep!

Saturday 22nd January 2022

Last night I Felt like I needed to sleep later than my usual wake up (not what has been going on the last few weeks/month) so cancelled my intervals space.

My alarm still went off at the same time, I pressed snooze quite a few times until Sophiecat got impatient for food!!

Did my usual Saturday food shop to restock the fridge and cupboards, lost a bit of food inspiration too at the moment so relying on favourites to see me through.

This afternoon I got the bus into town to have lunch with a friend, we had a few drinks and I got home later than I had planned so currently drinking lots of water to try to avoid a hangover in the morning!!

I often feel that I’m not that sociable bit thinking about I am but I enjoy doing things during the day rather than in the evenings! I love going for coffee, long lunches, afternoon tea and would choose this over a night out as feel these things allow you to chat properly!!

Friday 21st January 2022

Yay, I made it to the gym this morning, the first time in about 10 days I think so know that I may ache tomorrow. Didn’t sleep that well as was anxious about going which seems ridiculous as I’ve been a member for over 7 years and as soon as I walk in it feels so familiar. Anyhow, I was determined to go despite not doing all the prep I needed to do last night so this morning wouldn’t be too frantic.

It was a uni day today so went straight from the gym to campus and showered there and then had my breakfast at my desk & checked my emails.

I was lecturing my 3rd years today for the last session of their current module and I decided to allow them to play with Lego and build something around the theme “winter”, they loved it and you could see the delight in their eyes as they found the right bricks and pieces to bring their creations to life.

I’ve got tonnes of Lego that I use in my business when working with clients as often I find it can help to break down barriers and helps people to open up about issues or challenges they are facing.

It got me thinking about the act of “play” and the famous quote from George Bernard Shaw – “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

Over the last few years, I feel that I’ve been consumed with the lack and seriousness of life and kind of stopped playing, being child-like, seeing the light-hearted side of life which makes life full of colour and magic. Over the weekend I am going to make some small card reminders to be curious and child-like every day and put them around the house! I don’t want to go back to grey, I love colour!!

Thursday 20th January 2022

The lack of exercise mojo is a constant thought in my head today, I cancelled my intervals space this morning last night as felt like I needed more sleep even before I went to bed!! Not a good place to be really but it is what it is I guess. Although I did buy some cheap kit that my gym was selling off as they’ve got some new kit delivered so I’m sure that over the next week or some it will start coming back (fingers crossed).

Today wasn’t a uni day but I did a bit of uni work as offered to drive the uni minibus for my colleague to take our students on an industry visit which was a fun thing to do and a little light relief for them as they’ve now completed semester 1 of their 2nd year and have handed in all their assignments. Once back on campus we had lunch together and caught up on a few things, often on a Thursday I pop onto campus to have a coffee with my colleague as we both work part time and the only day we both are usually in is Monday but we both lecture all day so don’t get a chance to chat properly.

After lunch, I had a meeting with my accountant to sign off my business accounts and work out a plan for the coming year which was interesting, I am always excited and nervous in equal measures when I talk about the possible growth and the hard work needed to get there, I’m not shy of hardwork, however, am aware that I can’t push myself too much as need to maintain my own health alongside the health of my business and this isn’t a balance I’ve got right over the years.

Some urgent client work to finish off the day and that’s another day ticked off the calendar!

Wednesday 19th January 2022

Last night I was all ready to head to the gym this morning, then this morning came and I just wasn’t feeling it, so cancelled my space.

However, I didn’t go back to bed, instead, I sat in my reading room and did some journaling, trying to figure out why my exercise mojo has disappeared.

I’ve always been quite an active person, played lots of sport at school, college and into adulthood, as well as enjoying going to the gym! Some 22 years ago, one evening I was bored at home and signed up for an evening class to do my level one fitness instructor qualification at the local college, after the first session I was totally hooked and over the following 2 years, I did all the courses required to become a fully qualified personal trainer (20 years ago, now that does make me feel old, as I can still vividly remember some of the courses I did). Once qualified, I switched careers and got a job in the fitness industry for around 4 years. Since then I’ve been a regular at my local gym and 7 years ago I discovered CrossFit which I love too, although over the past few years I’ve had a love/hate relationship with it as it is equally mentally challenging as it is physically. And more recently I’ve taken a shine to open/cold water swimming too.

During the UK lockdown of 2020, I really enjoyed exercising at home, I have a few weights and used what I had to hand as well as the local area to run around and got into a great routine and by mid Aug 2020 I was in great shape and felt amazing. Since then something has gone awry as I’ve completely lost all motivation to exercise which is totally unlike me as I love it.

I know it will come back at some point, just not sure when! I am hoping soon as I feel like the clock is really ticking now as I move to the half way point of my 365 transformation challenge. I’ve learnt over the many years I’ve been actively doing personal development that barrating myself for not doing exercise isn’t helpful so I will be gentle with myself and just allow this period of inactivity to happen and just accept it (as hard as it is to do that as I know I will definitely feel better being active but I simply won’t force myself – there is a time when I do force myself to exercise, this isn’t one of those times).

This lack of motivation is playing on my mind a lot at the moment so will probably speak to someone about it to see if I can shift the thoughts away as I really don’t know what is stopping me!

Tuesday 18th January 2022

Not a lot to report today as it’s been a uni day, a full day of teaching/workshops/helping students with their assignments as well as supporting colleagues too.

No exercise as simply not got the energy to do any and my brain is frazzled too!

It’s cold in the UK at the moment with frosty mornings and beautiful sunny blue winter skies not that I’ve really seen much blue sky the last couple of days as the uni days seem more full-on than ever.

I do know that this time of year is always busy as we are at the end of one semester so got marking and moderation to do as well as plan for new modules in the new semester starting in just a week’s time. So right now I’m just sucking it up and getting on with the jobs on my to-do list with the hope that in a couple of weeks it will settle down a bit.

I really need this to happen if I’m going to get back on track with this transformation (the whole purpose of this blog) as it has really taken a back seat for quite a while now and if I want things to change I need to be willing to put the hours in to change things, I am of course willing to do this but also have my fears too…

Interesting though, at the weekend when I was with my friend she mentioned how she felt my energy had changed and how much more positive I seemed, even her husband commented on it too! So I guess, little by little, step by step things are changing so just have to have faith in that and keep looking forward!

I think I’ve spent way too long looking backwards and now it’s time to look forward and only glance back occasionally…

Monday 17th January 2022

Had planned to go to the gym this morning, hadn’t managed to get all my stuff ready as usually do but felt that was ok as didn’t need as much today as usual as I getting a free lunch at work, however, I went to bed later than normal, slept badly and just felt like I needed more sleep!!

So fed Sophiecat and then came back to bed and thankfully she woke me up again a while later as I forgot to reset my alarm!

Today I was doing tutorials with some students, it’s nice to have one to one time with them to get to know them better and therefore be able to support them more in the future, the drawback is it’s quite draining on my energy as I put my all into each meeting.

So got home and have literally done nothing apart from heating my tea up from food I cooked last week and watching some tellybox and before I know it’s time for bed again.

Having one late night at the weekend really does knock me for six for a couple of days after, I know this isn’t really normal so will be looking into this a bit more to understand how I can overcome this constant tiredness!

Sunday 16th January 2022

A pretty lazy day today with a slow morning at my friend’s house.

Drove home and had to do some work for a client who needed it back for tomorrow.

Obviously in the last two years, I’ve not travelled around the country much and before that I kind had lost my confidence with going on adventures.

Driving home today with the tunes blaring and taking in the countryside it made me realise that I need to get and about more this year and the future. The UK is a beautiful country and so many places to explore and learn about so my aim is that once a month I’m going to visit somewhere new!

December 2021 – Catching my breath

December this year has been a time I attempt to catch my breath so to speak, for the last decade I haven’t really taken much time off at Christmas as I felt that if I wasn’t working I wasn’t earning money and that freaked the hell out of me.

For most of the month, I was wishing away the days, this is not something I usually do as I want to make the most of every day and I love what I do at the uni as well as the business but I had started to feel really tired as the year drew to an end so I was counting down the days to when I could just mooch around the house and have no plans!

This year is slightly, well if I’m honest massively different. Having some part-time work at the uni gives me some financial security so feel more relaxed to take time away from work but also after many years of therapy and working on myself in terms of limiting beliefs, lack of self-belief and confidence I feel more relaxed about my whole life situation and that’s it’s ok to rest.

I’m not one for sitting still for long so over the festive break I decided to do some house sorting, clearing and cleaning as well as make my reading room (AKA the spare bedroom) cosier as I want to use the room more.

I bought some fairy lights that can double up as sidelights when people come to stay, I bought a bed desk and a fur blanket to snuggle under as I tend to feel the cold when I’m reading or meditating.

The week between Christmas and New year, I spent quite a lot of my days in this room, it was glorious, I read books, I journalled, I made plans for 2022 and I meditated.

When I started to clear out cupboards and draws it made me realise how much I love my house and how lucky I am to have the space I have, over the last few years I had fallen out of love with it as it felts tired and full of stuff (quite reflective of how I was feeling I guess!), I refurbished the house when I first bought it 15 years ago and have done very little to it since and it felt a major job to sort it but as I started doing some of the little DIY jobs, I realised that I just need to tackle one thing at a time. I replaced downlighter bulbs some of which I think have been out for probably a decade and the house feels so much lighter (Doh!! It’s amazing what you get used to and become blind too over time isn’t it!!) and I had this really strong feeling that I need to clear old energies out the house and start to look forward to the future that re-visiting the past.

The last couple of years have been hard for everyone in so many different ways and I felt that December 2021 gave me time to reflect on my own journey, the lessons I’ve learned and what I can leave in 2021 and what I can take into 2022.

I’m so excited for 2022 and all the things I will achieve… Eyes forward, one step at a time!

Saturday 15th January 2022

Skipped intervals today as I was visiting a friend who was a few hours drive away and realised that if I did intervals I would be rushing around getting ready & I just not in the mood for rushing around.

Still got at the same time as if I was going to intervals and did some housework before I left so that when I get home it’s nice and tidy.

Had a fab day, eating, drinking, walking & catching up!! These are my favouriteist days in the world, no pressure, no clock watching just two people enjoying the company!!

This is something I know need to do more of over the coming year as it replenishes the soul and brings me so much joy.