Tuesday 26th July 2022

A business day today so had a slower start today apart from the usual Sophiecat wake up at 4.30am, went back to bed & woke up just after 8am and I was straight to my desk.

I was determined to be quite productive today as knew I had to get a fair bit of client work completed before my holiday as well as sort out the house.

And I have to say I have done most of the stuff I set out to do today. I’ve managed to tidy the house & do most of the washing up as well as pack all my bags for tomorrow, it’s a long day away from home tomorrow with gym, uni and swim so wanted to make sure I did as much prep as I could today to make it easier for me in the morning.

The next two days I’m at the uni and we have graduations so will be full on days so won’t get a chance to do other things when I’m there and then I’m going away on Friday night so I literally just had today and Thursday evening to sort things out.

Finally heard from my parents after me emailing them last Monday about having Covid & if I’m honest I don’t really want to speak to them, they’ve pissed my off by their lack of contact, need to find a way to speak to them without it causing hurt & arguments, have said that I’m busy & will speak to them when I’m back from Scotland which gives me a couple of weeks to think about.

Anyway, it’s bedtime again before I know it!

Monday 25th July 2022

Today has been quite emotional as I thought it would be with my therapy session. To distract myself before I went I cracked on with client work! I’ve got quite a lot to do before I go away at the weekend and then next week so I’m against the clock with it.

I had planned to go to the gym this morning, however, my legs are so sore from Intervals on Saturday I skipped it!

My therapy session went well, it was more of a re-introduction really to get out all that was in my head in order to work out what to work on in coming sessions. I let out all that I was holding onto for the past 2 years and there were plenty of tears but felt good to let go of a few things and start to unpick some of the unhelpful thoughts I have.

Once that was done & I regain some composure, I popped into the uni to finish off something that I didn’t get a chance to finish on Friday.

Got home & had a late lunch and then cracked on with more client work.

Cooked myself a roast chicken dinner too, was going to have it yesterday but didn’t feel like cooking it so had it today instead, it was lovely! Chilled with a glass of rose& watched a bit of telly.

I’m nervous & excited for this week, being my birthday in just a few days! Birthdays are hard for me in many ways so as much as I look forward to them, I am also glad when they are over too. Also about going away, I’ve not been away from home for more than 1 night for over god knows how many years… think it might be 4 or 5, possibly more!!

Sunday 24th July 2022

A pretty chilled out day all in all! An early start as Sophiecat was not happy and won’t stop meowing so got up & grabbed some coffee.

Did a bit of client work which got completely missed off my to-do list last week so wanted to get it done so it was there in their inbox for Monday morning.

I headed to the lake slightly later today as I had booked myself a Stand Up Paddleboard (SUP) lesson afterwards. Did a few small loops swimming as my legs are really achy from intervals yesterday and also some swim friends were at the lake who I’ve not seen for a few weeks so fancied catching up with them.

I’ve been going to the lake now for a few years & so lovely to see friendly faces there when I go on my own, I don’t mind being on my own as I go into my own little world but also nice to see people who I know.

It was quite windy at the lake today which made SUP quite hard, at first I was really nervous about standing up & falling in (not sure why considering I’d been in the water earlier in the day), but anyway, eventually, I managed to stand up and do a bit of paddling but most of the time I simply sat on the board and floated around, practice makes perfect I know so will see how it is in Scotland.

The hotel saga continues as I suddenly realised last night that the hotel I’d booked is over 12 miles from the original hotel and in the middle of nowhere so when the booking website sent me another alternative this afternoon I cancelled yesterday’s hotel and booked today! Now I’m happy as I’ve got a king room in the town I want to be in & they have assured me that they will pay the difference after my stay. So now the planning starts to work out what I’ll do while I’m away.

This evening, I sat and read the paper! I’ve got a therapy session tomorrow, first, one in 2.5 years & I’m a little nervous if I’m honest as got a few things bubbling away that need to come out. Will keep you posted tomorrow.

Now bedtime again!

Saturday 23rd July 2022

My first time back at the gym since Covid, was intervals (AKA cardio hardio) and it was tough, not just because of Covid but my general fitness as well but I did it & that’s all I’m focusing on at the moment.

After the gym I headed to get some groceries, the list was fairly long but I had to keep remembering that I’m away next weekend & the following week & not to buy too much. I was also quite tight on time as had planned to meet a friend at 9.30am for coffee & needed to get home, put the food in the fridge & get to our meeting place.

Had a great catch-up with a friend who I’ve not seen for a couple of months, we speak regularly through WhatsApp and Instagram but not the same as being with someone physically.

Got home & decided to go for a quick run, just to see how my knee held up, only a 400m loop around the roads near my house but enough to see how it felt and thankfully there was no pain in my knee at all, however, my heels on both feet were quite sore so will have to ease back into it gently as I couldn’t run the full 400m straight out, think I did about 200m, walked a bit & ran the rest, it’s a start so will now slowly build it up.

The rest of the day I had planned to do housework but I just felt like I needed to chill, so that’s what I’ve done, have done a few small jobs.

Hallelujah, I’ve sorted my hotel for my trip! It’s double what I originally paid but I’ve been assured by booking.com that I will get the difference back & they’ve already refunded me the original booking costs.

This evening, I’ve been watching the World Athletics Championships, I love watching any sport, especially big events like this as I’m just in awe of the amazing athleticism of the competitors & the fact it’s completely unpredictable. As well as aspiring to be that fit & healthy, I will get there one day!

Friday 22th July 2022

Was meant to go to the gym this morning but skipped it to do some work, playing catch up again this week due to being ill & not being able to work at full capacity.

Then headed off to the uni for the day, it was a quiet day as most of my colleagues were either working from home or not at work so had the office to myself, I mainly cracked on with catching up with what I had planned to do this week.

There is a quiet buzz around campus at the moment as it’s graduation next week so the excitement is building, outside my office today a band of workmen were putting up a massive marquee which will host the students & their families!

After work, I made a quick trip to the supermarket to get some groceries, will do my main shop tomorrow morning after the gym but needed to get a couple of things tonight.

Still trying to sort my hotel out for my trip in a couple of weeks, the booking website has sent me 2 alternatives both are rooms with a single bed when I booked a room with a double bed so will have to see if they will find me another hotel tomorrow, I don’t think I’m being unreasonable wanting a like for like alternative?!? I know I’m a solo traveller but would also book to have a double bed.

Off to bed now as this week has taken its toll on me, a quiet-ish weekend that will give me a chance to rest & recuperate.

Thursday 21st July 2022

Day 6 of testing positive for Covid, however, as per guidelines I don’t have to self-isolate anymore, phew!!

Woke up feeling a little more refreshed than I have previous mornings & set about catching up on work, although it was pretty hard to concentrate as there was building work going on outside my house as contractors are replacing the path that runs alongside my boundary, they were using a jackhammer to break up the concrete & the whole house was shaking, just glad they are doing when I’m feeling better.

Bit stressful morning too as I’m going away in early August for a few days to Scotland, I’ve not had a holiday for years (notwithstanding COVID), so was a little stressed when I got an email from the hotel saying they had cancelled my booking as they are closed for refurbishments :0(!! After a few tears, I spoke to booking.com who I booked it through & they are going to find me somewhere else to stay & matching the price I paid for the original hotel so fingers crossed it will all be sorted tomorrow, I just have an anxious 24hr wait to hear what’s happening!

Some good news today as I’ve sold the first ticket to my conference later this year, I have been having massive doubts about it over the last week or so since I launched it last Monday but this has given me a much-needed boost!

I ventured out of the house today and made a beeline to the lake for a swim, did 3 small laps and like I say every time it felt amazing, and I didn’t realise until I was in the water how much I missed it, it was so warm & comforting & just want I needed.

After the swim, I got a few groceries and came home and just chilled for an hour or so before it’s bedtime again… The days are really merging into one at the moment.

Think this is my 356 post so just 9 days left of this transformation blog!! Should I carry it on? Track my marathon prep progress? Probably not every day though as you’ll get very bored if you’re not already!!

Wednesday 20th July 2022

Today has been quite a tough day, sleeping was hard last night as it was still hot in the house and although my sofa is really comfy it’s not the same as my bed.

It was a uni day but as I’m still self-isolating I was working from home which I find pretty hard as I like to separate my job & my business and the way I do this is by always going to the uni when I’m working there. I was planning new modules that I’m teaching & writing assignment briefs for these modules too. Feel a little out of my depth as this bit of the role is still pretty new to me.

Am feeling weighed down by life pressure today too, there have been lots of tears, I just want to feel like I’m free to be who I want to be (not that I know who that is right now), yet I just have to keep going with what I’m doing as need to earn money to just make ends meet. I do love what I do and would still do it if I had all the money in the world, however, that would be a choice I could make & right now I don’t have that choice.

I am still testing positive too which is really annoying!! Fed up with this too, fresh food is running low & I just want to have a workout…

Excuse the down-ness! Not feeling life today, I’m sure tomorrow I’ll feel different!!

Tuesday 19th July 2022

Getting a little anxsty now, day 5 of testing positive and feeling about 95% of my usual self!

Managed to do some work today well, this morning until my office became unbearably hot & my laptop is low on battery as I lent my charger to a friend who left theirs at work which is an hour drive away!

Most people have been understanding as I’ve explained that I’ve had Covid, I’ll just have to do some long days in the coming week or so to catch up.

Having time to think has been good, however, I’m good at thinking but not very good at making changes & forging forward. At the moment, I feel like I’m balancing on a knife edge and things could go one of two ways and that makes me uneasy, my therapy session can’t come soon enough to help me talk these feelings through rationally to help me make sense of them all and work out a plan going forward.

Today, my county has been put on the map for being the hot place in the UK ever at 40.3°C & it’s now 9.30pm at night and still around 30°C, I love hot weather & if I was well, I would have sunbathed for most of today but I’ve only just gone outside in the last 30 minutes as am trying to cool the house down, last night I slept on the sofa and think I’ll be there again tonight as the upstairs is stifling, I’m sat here typing this blog & I can feel beads of sweat trickling down my back!!!

Monday 18th July 2022

Another day and another positive COVID test!!

Woke up with a banging headache so tried to sleep in for as long as possible after feeding Sophiecat at 4am and taking some ibuprofen.

Not really done anything today as my headache wiped me out for most of the morning and the heat has sapped my energy this afternoon.

Have started to think about where I go next with my health, fitness, and life if I’m honest! That’s what happens when I get time to think, I question everything.

I’ve been told about a marathon happening next March which is a new one taking place near me which I’m tempted to apply for, I completed the Edinburgh marathon back in 2006 and have been looking for another one ever since and this one looks fun as it’s will run along our glorious coastline we have in the county I live so quite close to home but far enough for it to be something a bit different & a weekend away. It’s exactly 250 days until this event… how timely!! I feel that perhaps I need something like this to focus on & to give me a long term goal that’s more formal than just something I tell myself.

Half of me feels like I should stop focusing on my fitness & just crack on with other things like the business & just do the fitness as something I do & then maybe it won’t feel so hard to achieve the goals I want to achieve, a bit of reverse psychology maybe!!

Sunday 17th July 2022

Another day of nothingness! Woke up feeling a little bit better, still snotty though and still testing positive.

With feeling a little better I’ve felt able to think a bit more about my future & how I want to shape it, this blog was started as a year of transformation & I probably have moved forward in some areas of my life & know that in others I’ve gone backwards – I guess life is like that really, give & take, ebb & flow, ups & downs so shouldn’t be surprised that’s how this past year has panned out like that.

I weighed myself on Thursday when I was at the gym as I was just curious as to where I was at, weight is just a number but is a good indication of health along with other metrics & let’s just say I wasn’t surprised by the number seeing how inconsistent my exercise routine has been over the past few months and the fact that most of my clothes feel tight! I need to work out the best way to fit exercise into my somewhat hectic life without it becoming burdensome.

For now, though I’m going to take it easy over the next few days, not only so my body can fit the virus but also because of the heat, here in the UK we have a RED weather warning for heat tomorrow & Tuesday, the forecasters are predicting that we will hit 40°C (104°F) which is unprecedented for the UK & will be the hottest it’s ever been, so just need to stay cool & make sure Sophiecat does too.