Well that’s another month of 2019 done and dusted and it’s been a VERY tough one and happy to see the back of it if I’m honest.
The month started off with a full on week of travel events, I went to London for an event one day and then made my way to Brighton to talk at an international conference later in the week. Both of them I really enjoyed and was great to network with other people in my sector and I was really buoyed up about the conference.
However this was short lived as days turned into weeks of no sales and I was facing the hard reality of running events.
I really didn’t know what to do for the best. In one week I had 3 people telling me that I should pull the event, given as well-meaning advice but it totally just broke me and had a massive amount of self-doubt and felt that I was letting so many people down as the conference had become all-consuming and I was just not managing to keep all the other elements of the business going or so I felt.
Then Easter came, for so many years I’ve used the long Easter weekend to escape from the world by turning off my mobile & internet and spent the weekend at home reflecting on life & making space for things I love to do but tend to get forgotten about in everyday life (Here’s my blog about it from last year: https://lincolnshiregirl.wordpress.com/2018/04/02/easter-digital-detox/ ) This year was going to be the same when I got an email from Sayme Ling back in July 2018 & it prompted me to go onto their website and I noticed that they were running an Easter Retreat over the Easter weekend call: Finding Joy and Wisdom through Mediation and I thought why not. Samye Ling is a Tibetan Buddhist Monastery and Centre for World Peace and Health 15 miles outside of Lockerbie. I’ve visited it before (here’s another blog post about it: https://lincolnshiregirl.wordpress.com/2013/12/03/stepping-off-the-world-for-a-weekend/) and it holds a special place in my heart, there is something about it that unless you’ve been it’s hard to describe the feeling of a deep sense of peace and calmness when you walk onsite.
Two weeks before I was going to go, I mentioned to a friend about going and asked if she wanted to come too and she said yes and in all honesty I was really glad she said yes with all the emotion I was feeling before going I felt that it was good that someone I knew was with me.
We arrived on Good Friday with just 10 minutes to spare before the 1st teachings and we made our way to the temple along with 300 other people who were also attending the weekend retreat. The weekend was intense with a number of teachings each day about the Buddhist principles for living a life with joy and wisdom at the heart of it. Buddhism wasn’t pushed down your throat very much at all; it was really about taking the teachings and applying them to modern life!
There were many insights gained, realisation made and tear shed but there was also lots of laughter too, not least with us popping to Tesco in Lockerbie on Saturday evening to get some chicken as my friend was really craving meat so we were stood outside Tesco gauging ourselves on cooked chicken knowing that we had to eat it there and then as couldn’t take anything back to the centre!! We also picked me up a swimming costume as we had the bright idea of going swimming in the river that runs alongside the monastery and as Saturday was a beautiful day we though what’s the worst that could happen, well apart from it being *BEEP* freezing it was actually a lot of fun and we even managed to smile for a selfie!!
And before we knew it, it was Tuesday and time to come home, neither of use wanted to leave as it’s such a lovely place to be but alas our real lives awaited us at home. Here are just a few pictures of the place:
Inside the temple
The prayer Stupa (no filter on this one, just a gloriously sunny day)
I came crashing back into my world like a tonne of bricks as the conference was still looking like it was going to be car crashed and I felt completely overwhelmed with my growing to-do list.
I poured over my costing spreadsheet to see if I could make it work financially but it become more about the experience people were going to have rather than the financial costs and I really wasn’t sure if I could make it work on both counts, so over the following weekend I decided to postpone the conference to give me time to re-group, learn lessons and space to deliver work that I’ve also got on at the moment and I felt at peace with this decision.
Then Monday came and I get a rush of sales and I made the U-turn decision and to go ahead. I had to reframe in my own mind of what it was going to be and that it would be a great event & just give it my all, one saying that I learnt while in Scotland was:
Do your best,
Be your best,
And let it go!
So this is where I’m at…it’s all steam ahead and what a rollercoaster of a month & I made it through just about and if it wasn’t for some of my friends who have been there when I was at my lowest and didn’t know where to turn I have to say THANK YOU to you, you know who you are and I’m forever grateful for your support & friendship.
Here’s to an amazing May…