So here are again, another month completed!!
These months seem to come and go in a blink of an eye.
This past month like many before it has been quite a challenge as I’m determined to get through my current situation by learning lessons from the past and changing my behaviour & mindset to get a different outcome; and as we all know change is hard!!
So how am I doing this? Well, I’ve done a big thing for me and ask for help, seeking out new people to work with and challenge my thinking & putting the work in to action some of the things they suggest. As I’ve mentioned before this is something I struggle with, for a long time I’ve been it’s me against the world! However, recently I’ve realised that this mindset hasn’t necessarily helped me in the past as I’ve found that I become overwhelmed with what I’m dealing with and it’s broken me mentally.
Late in Sept, I met up with a friend and she recommended this book to me as when we were speaking I was saying that I wanted to change some of the internal dialogue that I have with myself but didn’t know how to do this.
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr Joe Dispenza
Unusally for me, I’ve devoured this book as I’ve found it so interesting and makes perfect sense to me and using the techniques he shares to change my future and life.
I’m still wrestling with my head/heart dilemma, the truth is… (I’ve debated for a few days in my head, hence why this post is later than usual if I should be totally honest about stuff and I came to the conclusion that at the start of the year that these posts would be warts and all) so here goes …that business isn’t doing as well as I would like financially which means that I might have to make a very tough decision about very soon. 
I’ve still got fire in my belly to do what I do but ultimately I need income to pay all the boring/dull adulting stuff like mortgage and bills to run a house.
If any of your are part of the business world you’ll know that when you go to networking events, people often ask “how’s business?” and the normal answer is – it’s great thanks (whether this is true or not!), well in October I decided to be honest with some trusted business associates about my situation with the hope that they might be able to help me.
One of the things I’ve struggled with over the last couple of year is people’s perception of me and the business and the reality of the how I feel about me and the business, a lot of the time this is misaligned and therefore I sometimes feel like I’m a fraud or being dishonest!!
Being honest about my situation has been really hard as it’s admitting to myself that things aren’t working out the way I would like but I’ve been taken aback at how much love I’ve been shown and how people genuinely want to help me succeed.
I’ve also spoken to lots of friends and leaned on them for emotional support which has been invaluable!!
I know I probably don’t do this enough, it’s baby steps isn’t it? And to be kind to myself as this month I feel like I’ve neglected friends as I’ve been so self-absorbed in my challenges that I’ve not given them as much energy as I would like.
Over the last month, I’ve also learnt to be grateful for the little things and try not to worry or catastrophise about things I can’t control and just do something each day that will get you closer to your goals or dream life. I’ve realised I have so many things to be grateful for but it gets easily forgotten when things become too much.
So all I can say is watch this space, not sure what the last two months of 2019 will hold for me…
Lincolnshiregirl 