As with every other month this year, it would seem the start of this one was a crazy one with another trip down South to deliver a short workshop for a global company. I absolutely love to do this kind of work as it really plays to my strengths and really is what is at the heart of my business – sparking energy in business.
However, giving so much energy to everyone else often I feel depleted. I got back my overnight trip and felt utterly sapped of energy I felt like a zombie!! And this was reflected the following week as some of the work I did on this day wasn’t up to scratch and mistakes had been made!! Not something I’m proud of but like with somethings in life, it kind of needed to happen for it to shock me into change.
Recently I’ve seen many articles talk about “burnout” especially related to workplace health and wellbeing, this is nothing new really and something personally I’m very aware of as when I first moved to Lincoln some 13 years ago now I was suffering from burnout, back then we called it adrenal fatigue, whatever you want to call it, it’s basically your body telling you to stop!!
And if I’m honest that’s where I am right now so enough is enough. And I’ve taken a long hard look at my life to see where I can make changes as in all serious I know I CANNOT continue as I am as I’ll make myself very ill if I’m not careful.
Thankfully I have all the knowledge within me to know what to do to help myself, I just need to listen to my own advice (which we all know is the hardest thing!!). So the first thing I did was get back on the nutritional supplement programme I used to take, now this is not a substitute for good food or good lifestyle choices however, it does help support the body when stressed so hopefully, it will help me feel more energised to be able to help myself do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy.
This month I managed to get back to the box and do a couple of weeks with consistent exercise which has felt good to get some sort of routine back, this did go to pot the last week of June as I went away for a few days which was seriously needed, more about that later.
One thing I’ve noticed this month is I’ve got into a fear/worry mindset, having spent the first half of the year rushing around getting stuff done I now find myself with more time on my hands which I find hard, my mind wonders into what might happen in the future and how I will get through it and this is always worst-case scenario rather than success!!
It’s only a couple of years ago that my business went through a real rough patch and left me financially depleted and really struggling to make ends meet, I literally went into survival mode as I had no other choice, thankfully the business has improved since then but I’m very aware that this could happen again which makes me very wary about actually living my life as with everyone we don’t know what is around the corner.
I have thought it would be lovely to have a sabbatical for a short time as I feel now that my business is shifting slightly and having a chance to work on this shift without the distraction of daily work/life would be useful however right now it’s not practical/feasible for me to do this so instead I’ve contacted a couple of people I know who also know me quite well to ask for some business coaching to help guide me through this transition period.
I’m often scared to do things that cost money as I worry that this money might be needed in the future which means I often feel that I’m not making the most of my life, this is something I’m working on with my therapist so only time will tell if I can dial these feelings down a bit so that I can actually enjoy some of the return I get for all the hard work I put into the business.
The last weekend of June I spent in Wales (where I was born) visiting my godparents which was lovely, we didn’t do much and I got a chance just to relax, I didn’t take my laptop with me and I resisted checking my emails knowing that I could deal with anything when I got back. This is not something I do very often at all as I do struggle to switch off from the business, my mind is constantly whirring with ideas, thoughts, things to do, things I’ve forgotten to do…the list goes on!!
I realised this is something I need to do more often, I just need to find a way of doing it that feels ok to me without too much expense.
I need to make some big changes to my life so I can start to work smarter in the business and still get the returns I want from it, I know this is hard as it will mean changing the way I behaviour, think and just be!! Old habits die hard and all that…but I’m willing to give it a go.
And last but not least…dating!! Well so far I’ve been on 3 first dates, all were pleasant experiences if not a bit nerve-wracking and one person I’ve had a second date with so I’ll keep you posted next month!! The whole online dating thing still feels quite alien to me so working hard to be quite laid back about the whole thing and take it as it comes.
As we head into the second half of 2019 I do wonder what else the year will bring for me and all I can say is bring it on…